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Jan. 1st, 2020


0. the good stuff is friends only

move it

comment to be added.

Aug. 24th, 2009


trying again under an old/new username

Hey all

I decided that this just doesn't feel right.  At least not right now.

I'm going to take up posting again on a regular basis under a username I've had for ages but never really got going.

Add me under plasticanddeath . :)  I've missed you.  You know who you are ;)


Aug. 21st, 2009


back or maybe not

I'm debating right now.  I haven't been on here for a while and I'm not sure whether to delete this account and start fresh or...

well, I'm not sure.

If I DO disappear again I'd love to bring you with me.
There were a lot of folks from my last username I didn't bring with me here that I tried to.

Maybe it'd be better if I just didn't come back.

We'll see.

Jul. 8th, 2009


40: ask me anything

Inspired a similar post, I decided to do my own.

All we talk about, well those of you here who are regular visitors, is calories, weight, body image and the like.  Bitching and moaning about [significant other/parent/sibling/coworkers/etc] here and there.  Surely there are things outside of that you might be curious about when it comes to me; there are certainly things I would like to know about all of you.

Thus, ask me a question.  Ask me a dozen.  About my upbringing, my enthnicity inability to spell ethnicity, my preferred brand of soy milk, about fitness, about the stupid things I have done/taken, about my strange arms, anything at all.  Do it because you yourself would like to know, do it because your wonder if your friends are right, do it because you can, do it because there is no reason not to.  While this statement is not truly a demand, I hold no responsibility if your burning question ends up going unanswered.

I'll close this post in a few and then post all the answers at once.  I do not plan on putting anyone's username to the question, but should you like to have it shown I will gladly link you.  All replies to this post will be screened for privacy.

You know you want to.

Ready?  GO.


Jul. 6th, 2009


business: missing friend

Does anyone know what happened to solongdevotion ?

She's deleted her account suddenly :/


Jun. 26th, 2009


37: back to So Cal

"I know she'll tell you I'm the one for her,
'cause she said I blow her mind.
The girl is mine, the doggone girl is mine.
Don't waste your time because the doggone girl is mine."

- "the Girl is Mine"
Michael Jackson featuring Paul McCartney
Off the Wall

I like my outfit today and you can't really see it but I even wore a little eye make up!
new ON SALE modal/spandex ruched-front tank from Gap Body,
homemade semi-precious stone/turquoise necklace,
jeans, flip flops, and of course, had to show off my favorite Sigg.
(Yes, I have a lot of water bottles, but I swear it's part of my job.)

Wow, I'm getting a late start for me today... but that's alright, I needed it. Slept in more than usual and got to the lab right when it opened; they sure took a lot of my blood! Made some killer super cute (but incredibly labor intensive) cupcakes for Pride Weekend; one of my friends placed an order because she's headed to a big Dyke Day (apparently, her words not mine) on Friday and wanted something to share with all the beautiful women. I was glad to oblige - her film about a bisexual woman is premiering at the LGBT film fest this weekend, her baby girl K is getting big and is oh so smart, and she's fresh from a break-up. While she was in Argentina visiting family, she put in an overseas request: I made said (now ex) girlfriend cookies, delivered them, huge surprise... and then broke up with my friend upon her return. Stupid! I digress.

[Aside: for those of you who do not know, while I myself have only dated men, as I get older I identify more and more as pansexual. A large percentage of my coworkers are bi or lesbian, the head of accounting is gay, lots of single-sex parent families here at work. It's all normal, no one at work finds it odd, the kids are hilarious in explaining why so-and-so has two mommies but they have two daddies... And really, I love it - where else would I be able to appreciate this sort of diversity besides here in the Bay Area?]

Weighed in at 108lbs. Not good, but not bad, definitely not as good as I had wanted but considering my intake and lack of fitness this week, I'll take it. Drinking coffee, going to try to not eat too much today as I know my sister will want a big dinner out most likely.

More later.  Maybe.

Leaving for SD tonight, back very, very late Sunday night.  What a week it's been.

Jun. 24th, 2009


36a: hair

This is no musical.

Just wanted to say, I just took "BEFORE" pictures.  Getting my hair cut in about an hour.  It's going from elbow-length to who knows.

We'll see.

Jun. 23rd, 2009


35: mic check

It's a miracle: I CAN HEAR AGAIN.
the gross story of my hearing loss and recoveryCollapse )

I'm glad I can hear, but damn, that's gross.

Also: the doctor gave me a new lab form to get my bloodwork done.  I asked to be tested for anemia, but after discussing my "history" (bipolar disorder etc, are you currently manic, etc) he wants me to test my thyroid too.  Fine.  Last checked when I was 19 but I'm willing to do anything, almost, at this point to figure out why no amount of sleep is restful, why I keep bonking in workouts, why my circulation blows, why I've had odd numbness, etc.

Here's what I tried to do today (I've made myself a checklist for the week and have been revising each day...)

in addition to the listed below, I will strive to do the following each day
[x] [ ] drink a minimum of 2L of water per day
[ ] drink at least one cup of detox or fasting tea each day
[ ] stretch for 15 minutes prior to bed
[ ] wash my face/use toner/etc (been bad about this)
[x] pack gym bag/purse/lunch bag with everything needed prior to bed
[ ] get a minimum of 6 solid hours of sleep (this will be very tough)

my intake/output/to-do checklistCollapse )

The mirror and the scale are being civil and honest, and of course, weighing in at the doctor's dressed yesterday was somewhat stressful for me... but hey, whatever motivates, right?

On a side note, I'm really glad Dr. Doctor is really nice and approachable - I really wanted to ask about nutritionists, etc but I'm just not ready.  Maybe next time?  But in the same vein, I feel like if I had to ask him to help me get help, I could.  That's reassuring, in a strange sort of way.

Leave for SD Friday. Oh dear.

Jun. 20th, 2009


34: membrane

My eardrum is quite possibly ruptured. This is day five of being completely deaf in my left ear. Take your fingers, hold them up to your ear, and simply rub them together, like you're trying to dust drumbs off your fingers with only one hand. You can hear it, right?

I hear nothing. It's like the left side of my body is on mute. For someone who loves to experience music and relies on sound quite a bit, it's somewhat... well, humbling, devastating, annoying, many words come to mind. The occasional sharp short pain and constant ringing are also quite fun.

Yes I'll go see a doctor.

It was probably me being overzealous with a Q-Tip but of course I'm paranoid that it had something to do with my stress/purging spree/lord knows what else.

I digress.

This is going to be a very, very long week...  but that's just what I need, a really long week to bust/kick my ass like nobody's business.  I nearly forgot, in the midst of my work and general life stress, that Friday I'll be heading back to San Diego for the first time in ages.  Honestly I try not to go back since moving, ha.  Friday I will be seeing my sister and her new place, Saturday I will hopefully see one of my best friends/former roommates.

(Admittedly, I am also looking forward to the fact that Friday, while bf and I are flying out at the same time, he is flying to his mom's in Ontario while I am headed straight to SD.  One night apart then we'll meet up Saturday and honestly, I could use some time with my sister.  And hopefully Saturday, some time with my girl Karebear!)

Oh.  And I'd love to be extra light as possible solely because I know there will be some food/booze damage done, no questions asked.  Totally unavoidable, honestly, and it's probably better I indulge to prevent another all out b/p week, or my latest fascination, c/s.


On to the proposed plan...  but my schedule is so insane, who knows.

groceries to get tomorrow:
Tofurky slices
frozen berries
frozen pineapple?
soyogurt (unsweetened or vanilla, only 10cals diff.)
chik'n patties
fresh fruit (apples, nectarines, bananas, maybe pears if they look good)
dried fruit (cranberries, blueberries if possible)
more Gatorade-esque stuff, I'm all out of PepPods, I think...
baby spinach or salad greens mix

in addition to the listed below, I will strive to do the following each day
- drink a minimum of 2L of water per day
- drink at least one cup of detox or fasting tea each day
- stretch for 15 minutes prior to bed
- wash my face/use toner/etc (been bad about this)
- pack gym bag/purse/lunch bag with everything needed prior to bed
- get a minimum of 6 solid hours of sleep (this will be very tough)

fitness/food proposal for M-WCollapse )

Jun. 17th, 2009



If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

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